


Training

by Nedrika



Series: P4 Memes [7]
Category: Persona 4
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Dubious Consent, Incorrect theories about social links, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Souji and Rise are long broken up pre-fic, Yosuke being a mess as usual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:47:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22875778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nedrika/pseuds/Nedrika
Summary: After Souji's relationship with Rise had started alongside the simultaneous maxing of her Social Link, Yosuke'd had a theory the two were correlated. He didn't have any better way to find out than first hand, and Souji had no good reason to doubt the logic. It's awkward and uncomfortable, but it's for the good of the team.
Relationships: Hanamura Yosuke/Seta Souji, Kujikawa Rise/Seta Souji
Series: P4 Memes [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1409869
Kudos: 24





	Training

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt:  
> yousuke feels inadequate in battle and asks souji to have sex with him, in the belief that it will strengthen their bonds & thus give his Persona more power
> 
> yousuke can secretly be into it and using jiraiya as an excuse, or totally and seriously sees it as a bro helping out another bro, and souji may or may not feel bad about the whole thing and reluctantly (or enthusiastically) agrees to it; whatever the author desires
> 
> https://badbadbathouse.livejournal.com/745.html?thread=253161#t253161

The evening had been relatively uneventful without Nanako or Dojima as distractions; as Souji dried the last suds from his hands he was surprised to hear the knock on the door, quiet and unassuming as though it would rather not be heard at all. He hissed a curse with the towel paused halfway back to it's hook.

All the stories of nighttime visitors whisking people off to the Midnight Channel rushed to the forefront of his mind so he had to shake his head free of them. He would be a very poor choice to throw into the TV. Nevertheless, he crept towards the handle with a saucepan held tight in hand should he not recognise the caller.

Yanking the door open showed Yosuke, panicked and pale even before he saw the raised weapon.

“Woah there, partner,” he stammered, hands raised. “I’m just here to talk. I guess I should have called ahead first, huh?”

He attempted a wink, but even in the half light it was obvious his heart wasn’t in it.

"It's normally best, yeah," Souji replied, a tepid smile stretching his lips. He stepped back to let him into the house and sort his shoes as he left to put the pan away.

Yosuke was waiting for him at the entrance to the living room when he had finished tidying, and was shifting his weight like he was on a hotplate. It made him nervous.

“So I know Nanako is at her play-date with Teddie, and she mentioned that her dad wouldn’t be home tonight so I thought I’d try and catch you, since, y'know, I’ve been meaning to bring it up with you for a while, not like it’s anything more than a theory I guess but…” Yosuke kicked himself out of his gabbling and pulled himself together, a blush spreading all across his face to his ears.

“I want to have sex. That is, with you. Or, I would like you to have sex with me.”

Souji's jaw dropped as Yosuke’s tightened and they stared at each other in mutual shock; it seemed that Yosuke hadn’t expected that he actually ask.

He could only manage a soft ‘uhh’ in the back of his throat in response, his mind completely blank.

“It’s just that I know that you and Rise were dating, we kinda all knew," Yosuke barked, the shock giving way to pure nerves, "and then she got Kanzeon while we all still have our original Personas and I figured that it must have something to do with it, and I know you would have to talk it over with her but I wanted to be stronger and not let you down and I thought-” Souji held up a hand to stop him - half so that Yosuke wouldn’t pass out and half so that he could let himself catch up.

They had tried to be careful, and yet the thought that the entire Investigation Team was aware of his and Rise’s time together was disconcerting. Sure, she had stayed as flirtatious as ever but he had tried to remain stoic to it as he had before she'd confessed; had he slipped, or had they been caught? Had others cottoned on?

The thought that it was sleeping with her the first time that had evolved her Persona seemed off as well, although the fact was that the two events happened so close together, somewhere within the same hour, which made it difficult to completely deny. He had slowly been getting to know everyone in the team alongside all his other duties and hobbies, but she was the only one that he had managed to make such a strong connection with and break through her problems so completely, at the same time as they had grown more intimate. It was possible, perhaps…

A shaky 'partner?' jolted him from his own thoughts and back to the looming request. His own burning blush must have been the pair of Yosuke’s.

“Yes, I was going out with Rise, and we were… intimate, so I can’t say you're wrong. We aren’t together any more though, so there'd be no reason to involve her in this.” Talking about it felt like dragging his nails down a chalkboard, even though it had been a amicable and painless breakup, but honesty was the only way out of the mire.

“Are you sure this is what you want?”

It was the elephant in the room after all of Yosuke's outbursts across the span of months, and while he definitely wasn’t the type to joke about sleeping with another man it still rang every alarm bell.

“I know it sounds dumb, but a stronger Persona seems like the best way to make myself better in a fight, you know? Level up. So we can get sorry fuck that’s doing all this.”

There was nervousness in every inch of his body but he seemed resolved, and so all there was for it was for Souji to gather himself. The whole situation screamed false but curiosity melded with his hopeless desire to please and the inescapable need to have the most capable team in the infested dungeons, and he found himself nodding along.

“Okay, let’s do it,” he said, and they both turned a little green at the turn of phrase. “It’s worth a shot, but you have to accept that it might not work, and that there might be another way to evolve Jiraiya.”

The thought that Jiraiya might not even have a second form hung, unsaid, between them. Yosuke nodded back, his mouth a grimace and eyes completely flat as they loitered in the space between rooms.

“Do you want to sit down here a while or…” Souji petered off, delaying this awkward atmosphere only slightly more unpleasant than trying to get hard in it.

“Nah, let’s get it over with,” Yosuke said and began to make his way upstairs, feet heavy and shoulders slumped, looking every bit as despondent as Souji felt. He followed him up and then excused himself into the shower with a mumble.

With the water running cool over him the situation seemed a little clearer and more real. It was still a crap shoot, and Igor’s system seemed too elegant for fucking his way into a power-up, but there was so little evidence to go with. If it did work and Yosuke got stronger, wouldn’t it be worth it?

What if it didn’t, and they were left clammy and cold in the aftermath with nothing to show? They had grown closer recently and he'd been enjoying their friendship, deeper and more honest than the shallow acquaintances he had left behind in the city. Any deeper feelings he'd stamped down viciously, first for Rise's sake and then for his own; Yosuke was very clear and loud on his stance regarding boys liking each other. It was a dead end in the making, and yet here he was, taking a stupid risk anyway.

He snuck back into his room, toweled dry and goosebumps rising, and caught Yosuke’s eye as he paced around the room. The light was still off and his eyes adjusted slowly to the evening light, barely catching Yosuke's expression as he left for his own shower. Souji was left to wonder whether to put on clothes to save himself the initial awkwardness just to take them off, or take off the towel, lie down and think of the Velvet Room?

Eventually he decided on perching awkwardly on the futon, white towel carefully arranged to give him at least fleeting dignity and the meagre supplies he had gathered up beside him. They’d seen each other in towels before thanks to the bathhouse, but context was key and he felt like he was going to squirm clear out of his skin.

The door opened gradually, and when Yosuke rounded it in a fluffy cover of his own his face was burning red. He crossed to the futon in great lumbering steps and sank onto the covers to leave a definite gap between them.

Neither moved, too focussed on breathing and not thinking about what was happening to make it happen. Yosuke spasmed as though to leave before recollecting himself, and he gave them both a couple more heartbeats before he leant in for a kiss; Yosuke jerked all the way back to the wall with an expression like he’d been hit.

“No way man, I can’t,” he said, tensed to bolt.

“That’s okay, we don’t have to,” Souji said, his voice low and even as though Yosuke was a stray. “How do you want to go about this?”

Yosuke’s eyes slid to the floor, but he stayed silent.

“Do you want to top or-”

“Top,” Yosuke interrupted, and Souji swallowed the lump of trepidation in his throat, along with his comment that it was an untested way of levelling up.

“Okay. How about we get ourselves started and take it from there?” Souji tried, since there was no way he was going to be able to touch Yosuke as long as he stayed primed like a bear trap in the corner.

“I… sure.”

Souji slid a hand under his towel and took himself in hand, his body having suddenly forgotten what his usual rhythm or pressure was; every movement was mechanical and manual under the heavy atmosphere. Both of them had their eyes zeroed onto the coffee table, with Souji turned half away and Yosuke still plastered to the wall, but from movement in his periphery and soft noises he knew Yosuke had followed suit. His skin prickled with awareness of the other bare body in the room.

Slowly he began to react, more in spite of the situation than because of it, and the more sensitive he became the easier it was to isolate himself from his surroundings until he was hard and a little more relaxed, the towel a rough scratch that pulled at the edge of his tenuous arousal. Without looking over he shuffled fully onto to futon, only to be struck by the odd question of positioning. To avoid scaring Yosuke right out of the gate he settled onto his heels, his towel barely hiding him, and busied himself with fishing the condom wrapper from under the futon where it had lodged itself when he shifted. It crinkled faintly as he dropped it between them and Yosuke sucked in a breath, the intense stare palpable as Souji cracked open the lube to squeeze some over his fingers.

He reached behind himself, his left hand holding the towel through the motion as other hand found his asshole. A quick glance over showed Yosuke completely still and white-faced, eyes locked on the condom with an expression that could have been nausea; he busied himself with staring at a pen that had fallen from his desk and trying not to pin down whether it was guilt or resent that was clawing at his ribs as he brushed against tender skin.

He hadn’t tried this in a long time, and it took him a long minute to find and keep the self control needed to rub small circles around his sphincter when the atmosphere had deadened again, but he persevered to push the first fingertip into himself. It was a conscious effort to not clench, and when he started working his finger in and out of his ass he was more intent on keeping himself covered than his own preparation, and sneaking glimpes of Yosuke’s elbow as it started moving again.

The thought - maybe hope - that this needn't be a complete bust got him through the long silence of two fingers and the overloud slippery sounds of three until the next barrier was reached, and he pulled his hand free and inched himself off his heels to sit heavily, legs spread with fingers fiddling with the towel. Yosuke grew very still.

“I’m ready,” he intoned.

“Sure, thing, pa-,” Yosuke cut himself off with a cough, as though he was worried about remembering who he was about to stick his dick into, and the slight stung more than Souji could have anticipated.

“Do I…” he started again.

He was on his knees and hobbling over, feet catching the covers and pale as death as he pulled open the wrapper and rolled it on.

“If you come over here I’ll sort the… position,” Souji offered, unsure exactly how much prompting and guiding would be necessary to avoid injury. He arranged the pillows behind him and laid down in what would hopefully be a relatively non-provocative pose, since if Yosuke panicked at this point there would be little chance at recovery. He tugged the towel from himself with as businesslike and brief a movement as was possible when revealing your dick to your best friend. Yosuke visibly swallowed but, to his credit, continued to inch his way between Souji’s legs, eventually brushing up against his knees and leaning over with his arms on either side of Souji’s head.

Bad idea, very bad idea.

There was no way that either of them were going to be able to manage much if they had to stare into each other’s eyes for the entire duration, so Souji hauled himself up onto his hands with a mumbled excuse, and when Yosuke had retreated to give him room he flipped over onto his hands and knees. A thin sound of air between teeth came from behind him but he paid it no mind; this was the only option that had a chance. Safe and relatively anonymous.

“Okay, is this okay?” Yosuke said. His tone was unreadable but the words were tiny in the huge expanse of the room.

“Yeah.”

A hand grabbed his hip, and then there was a nudge at the rim of his asshole. It waited there for too long, then pushed ever so slowly inside. The nerves that were in command of Yosuke were painfully evident as he moved in little jumps and starts, the hand at his waist clawing into flesh with ever greater pressure until Souji sacrificed his balance to pull it into a different position, his throat too tight to call it out.

It felt terrible: not in the physical act, which was uncomfortable at worst; but in the grim atmosphere, the air punctuated by groans and strained curses as much as any carnal sounds. Souji tried to focus on whatever pleasure he could pull from the friction, a light brush of his prostate or the deep heat, but staying hard was proving a challenge and in that position there was little he could do to help himself; even the angle of Yosuke’s thrusts was erratic enough that he couldn't hope to angle himself against them.

On and on it went, neither seeming any closer to enjoying it but only bearing the strain, until finally Souji looked over his shoulder to see pain in the thin line of Yosuke’s lips. His patience ran out.

“Yosuke, stop, this isn’t working.”

He stopped mid thrust, eyes wide, and slid carefully out before falling back on his butt, despair written through every line of his body.

“We can’t force it like this," Souji soothed, "isn’t the point that we get closer?”

Yosuke huddled into himself, hugging his knees to his chest. Souji settled to sit gingerly on the futon and reached a hand out but stopped just short, unsure how contact would fare.

“We can train together, and if nobody else gets another-”

“It’s not really that, not all of it,” Yosuke cut across him, and there was venom to his tone that Souji had heard tinge their conversations before, but never this concentrated. He recoiled and watched him crumble, scrabbling for what the right words would be but finding none.

“I was jealous of you. You’re our leader, you know? Best and brightest and I felt… caught in your shadow, I guess. We weren't that different when we came here, and still, the more you stood out the more I was blending into the background, even as part of the Investigation Team.

“Kanzeon was the same. Knowing you were picking favourites and that I wasn’t one of them made me angry at you, and myself. And yeah, I wanted to have a better Persona but it was… fuck. It was more than that, I… the… a part of me wanted to have the power over you... like this as well, okay? Not just with my persona but with… me, too. And I fucking hate it but I did it anyway. I’ve been the biggest coward this whole time, ragging on Kanji, but I’m so much worse than him ‘cause I used the fight as an excuse, used... used getting justice for Saki’s murder as an excuse to fuck you in the hope it would make all these ugly feelings go away, which lessens her memory as well, but I couldn’t get my head round them and now there’s no way you’ll forgive me and you shouldn’t, I mean, you’re straight and I just… shit.”

Yosuke slumped into himself, face dropping into his arms to hide his face. It burned Souji up watching as shoulders shivered in what might have been a sob, but it felt like Yosuke was still in the process of lancing the boil and so waited, his hand stretching out and once again dropping back to his own lap.

The trembles evened out and Yosuke’s eyes emerged from his huddle, still looking off to the side and away from him.

“Shit, partner, I'm weaponising my fears about what it would mean to like you because I knew, even through everything else, that you would try and help because you always do. I dragged you into this… shitshow and forced…fuck." He paused as though he would be sick, but the moment passed. "I’m the worst. I should just head, I shouldn’t even be here in the first place.”

All of the tension left him at once and he melted into a defeated mass of rubbery limbs that attempted to get off the futon, but Souji stopped him with a quiet touch to his elbow. Yosuke's gaze snapped up and at last Souji saw into his eyes, and all he read was sadness, regret and a burning self-hatred that for a second he saw as a yellow glow. He quickly slid his hand up to grasp at a clammy forearm as it flinched away.

“I don’t think you’re the worst, Yosuke. You were going through this alone and I should have seen it, and I’m sorry. I’m a bad partner. I don’t think you lessen Saki-senpai's memory; every one of us can see how seriously you take all this, and I'm sure she'd be proud of how far you've come.”

Yosuke tensed briefly under his hand but something like relief washed over him, and so Souji plunged on.

“You never forced me either. I wouldn’t have gone along with it otherwise but I did, and out of my own selfishness. It was… strained, and not all that satisfying, but that was more to do with how bad the air was rather than a… conceptual lack of interest." Here he faltered a little as his heart threatened to beat through his chest. "I’m definitely not uninterested in you, but I didn’t say anything because I didn’t know how you would take it.”

“We both know how I would have taken it,” Yosuke said sullenly, and while Souji had hardly expected him to jump into his arms there was a strange pain to being received with such nonchalance - that was until he really looked, and saw the barriers still up and the wounds still open and bleeding; maybe he thought that Souji was placating him, playing strategy, or wanted through all this emotional flotsam to the power-up. Again it stung, but he buckled it down rather than berate a lack of faith.

Instead he gently pulled on Yosuke’s arm as he shuffled himself over and up into a kiss, too brusque to be sweet but the best proof he could think of in the moment. Yosuke snatched himself away to get a good look at Souji, eyes darting and face keen, then leaned in just as forcefully to take his own. It was a tense push between them, cloying and artless in the raw emotion until the edges wore down and the touches turned tender.

They began the business of separation with light, chaste kisses to swollen lips, when the connection between them thrummed into life before snapping and reforming into something new and intimate. Yosuke gasped, and Souji pressed flush so he could feel his smile as a familiar voice rang through his mind and Susano-o introduced himself.

“Well, there we are,” he breathed, and the warm laugh that rumbled out of Yosuke’s throat washed away the last of the pain between them. He was powerless not to kiss him and drink it in. Yosuke shifted to hold him in loose hug as they giggled between pecks.

His blood had cooled, and it seemed Yosuke's had in kind. They settled into each other as they collapsed onto the futon, a smile still pressed against his neck and his own wide enough to ache as he turned over the new relationship in his mind.

Sleep came up on him slowly, lulled by soft, damp skin against his own, fingers running across his back and the occasional laugh that bounced between them. A vague thought drifted through his mind: if it worked for two of his team, was he supposed to do this with them all? Maybe, he thought as he drifted off, but he could be happy without everyone having a new Persona; what they had at that moment seemed perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> Still not sure I pulled this one off, but it was interesting to try something mildly new for once!


End file.
